Chronicles of Elaine Enlightening

When I was were very young, if my dad came to visit, he would often take me to Dairy Queen, for a Dillly Bar.  Later he introduced me to Baskin Robbins 31 flavors, after that it wasn’t ice cream unless it had nuts in it and was rich and creamy. In my adult years, I became aware that ice cream was our comfort food.  Naturally I ate it to fill an empty space.  I felt loved and payed attention to when dad took me for ice cream.  The only thing is I was not satisfied with a Dilly Bar any more.  I could put away ice cream like nobodies business.  I don’t know anyone who could put away ice cream as fast and in the amount that I did.  You would think me life depended on it.  About 3 years ago, Cold Stone came to town, and I went there about every weekend all summer, eating the Love It sized concretes in a big chocolate waffle bowl.  Of course, despite all the working out I did, I put on a few pounds and was feeling pretty bad about myself.  You wouldn’t know it by this story, but I am and always have been a health nut.  When my children were young I made everything from scratch and did not even buy refined white sugar.  Back to the summer 3 years ago, at the time I was recovering from a broken marriage, my first husband and father of my children had died in a car wreck a few years before that and I was just plain lonely and miserable.  That’s when I realized that I was not only never going to fill the void, no amount of ice cream could.

A painful memory associated with dad promising to come and pick us up for ice cream and never coming created a mistrust in men and God.

HBR has been the outlet for me relieving my grief and anger surrounding this pain. I am willing to take full responsibility for my life and to stop recreating these situations where I need to feel vulnerable and alone.  HBR has brought ground breaking understanding and liberation in to my life.  Yesterday, I took my granddaughter and son to get ice cream, yes that rich creamy stuff, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching them eat their ice cream.  I did not have a desire for the ice cream, nor did I feel like I was sacrificing anything to do with out. ( My body is telling me not to eat dairy.  I still will eat some refined sugar from time to time, but in small amounts.) My heart is healing and life is joyful as I embrace my wholeness and completeness with God, who never forsakes me.

This addiction is like any other, it is a way to dissociate from the pain of past fears.  What are you avoiding facing from your past that is still running your present life?  Are you looking for a holistic method to speed up the process?   This is what I was born to do, assist people in releasing the past blocks that keep them stuck.

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