Chronicles of Elaine Enlightening

My mom raised my sister and brother and I.  I am the youngest and I don’t remember my dad ever living with us.  Mom worked outside the home until I was 11, when she remarried.  When I married at the young age of 18, I had already determined that I was going to be a stay at home wife and mom.  At least, when I was in Junior High, I made a list of all the qualities I wanted in a man, at my sisters advice. I got everything I asked for, right down to a house in the country with a yellow kitchen!  Yep, the Law Of Attraction was working even though I had never heard of it.  For 23 1/2 years I stayed at home, until my husbands death.

Until I started tapping on my limiting beliefs, I didn’t realize why I was so adamant about staying at home.  I thought I was so different from my Mother because she worked outside the home most of my life.  She was so open minded and what I used to label “liberal”.  UGH!!  (It’s true that I was so “conservative”, of a Mom, that I was labeled “Mennonite” once, but that’s another story.)  Anyway, lately I became aware of why I had so many fears around making money.  One of the reasons I had this fear,  is that the happiest years of my life at home was when my Mom stayed at home and didn’t work.   That’s when she started cooking healthy meals.  She came to all of my basketball games and rooted me on, she was always there for me after she remarried. I even had new store bought clothes. Before that all I remember is a STRESSED out Mom, being alone, eating hot dogs and mac and cheese and Banquet Chicken Pot Pies, hand-me-downs, you get the picture. So, I associated my mom working outside the home with negativity and stress.  I even went so far as to teach my children that women have no business working out side the home because they rob the men of opportunities to provide for their families.  Ouch, that one is hard to write, it sounds disgusting to me now.  It’s hard to believe I was so closed-minded.  Talk about limiting beliefs coming from a scarcity mindset.  I am in the beginning stages of running my own business instead of getting a J.O.B., but that doesn’t make any difference to my subconscious mind.  Subconsciously, I associated in a negative way, women and making money.

Thankfully, that is in the past and I choose to no longer have these limiting beliefs dictate my future.   Now I chose to be a stay-at-home mom and an entrepreneur. When the big shifts started happening was when I started Erika Awakenings 15 Week Miracle Course.  I am so grateful for Erika’s intuitive mentoring, otherwise I wouldn’t be here writing about my shadow side.

Btw, I also, take full responsibility for my choices and so I don’t blame my Mom. My Mom is now my inspiration to be open-minded and to love unconditionally, something she was very good at.  My beautiful Mother has Alzheimer’s or she would be here rooting me on, now.

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