If you knew me, you would know that I have never been overweight in my life. Yes, I have fluctuated weight over the years, but usually no more than 5-10 pounds. I have released 20 pounds before, but when I did, I ended up 10 pounds less than I was when I graduated from High School and I was an athlete. I discovered that I preferred to be at the lower weight and have stayed in that range with the exception of pregnancies and after my second marriage dissolved. I feel overweight at 5 pounds. So my threshold might be lower than most, but the fact is, I have had issues with overeating throughout my life.
The difference is that I have always been devoted to my workout regime. I have collected a lot of great work out videos and I will actually do them. Plus, I love to ride my bike and walk my puppies. I prefer to be active and as great as that is, I used exercise as an excuse to eat.
What I have discovered through EFT tapping and now more powerfully, HBR, its that I have a scarcity mentality when it comes to food (and of course, every other area of my life). I am fearful that there may not be another meal or worry that there may not be enough to go around. This stems from my perception that as a child, there was limits on the food and I believed that the resources where limited. You know, like “waste not, want not”. Maybe you have heard the phrase, too. Somewhere I heard about the starving children in Africa. Both my Mom and Dad and grandparents were so frugal.
I believe that sometimes we absorb the limiting beliefs from well-meaning parents. I remember my Mom talking about how when she was growing up on the farm, sometimes they ate lard sandwiches, because that’s all they had. Can you imagine? She definitely provided more than that for us. When my Mom dieted, which she did regularly, she believed to eat healthy meant she had to eat things she didn’t like and would never eat otherwise. One of those foods was cottage cheese.
At times I can binge pretty good, too. Now my overeating may look different than someone else’s and maybe I make healthier choices than most, but overeating is overeating and it has been a way for me to soothe and stuff my emotions. Of course, I only felt better until the guilt set in. Then I would cut way back on my food intake and exercise like crazy till I felt lighter. I don’t blame my parents or anyone for my choices, but it has been helpful to understand why I have had these subconscious beliefs.
At least now, I am finding much relief from these limiting beliefs that I have been stuck in for so long. I write this article in an effort to free myself from the need to hide my weaknesses. I might have been able to hide my gluttony via a high metabolism and a high motivation to be slim, but all this did was make me feel superior to anyone who wasn’t thin, from my perspective. Fortunately, now I realize that when I judge my brother I am judging myself. Yes, I had heard that before, but never understood it, outside of the ego’s vantage point. My ego is good at justifying that some judging is necessary. Not buying that one anymore. I choose to see my brother as my equal. I have never been and never will be better than my brother.
Maybe I can give you permission to speak about your dark secrets. Awareness is the first step. If you are looking for a good coach to assist you with uncovering that fears which are holding you back from being the powerful person God created you to be, then you need look no further. Just email me at email@example.com to set an appointment, you will be glad you did. I am in the process of setting up my website and such, but don’t let that stop you form working with me.