Chronicles of Elaine Enlightening

“To identify with the ego is to attack yourself and make yourself poor.  That is why everyone who identifies with the ego feels deprived.  What he experiences then is depression or anger, because what he did was to exchange Self-love for self-hate, making him afraid of himself.  He does not realize this.  Even if he is fully aware of anxiety he does not perceive its source as his own ego identification, and he always tries to handle it by making some sort of insane “arrangement” with the world. He always perceives his world as outside of himself, for this is crucial to his adjustment.  He does not realize that he makes this world, for there is no world outside of him.”  A Course In Miracles

I have been learning so much about how I identify with my ego and thus make myself poor. I have spent my live in a scarcity mindset and how freeing it is to release it.  Here is one example that may seem minor, but I took my eyes of one of my puppies for a minute, I thought he would finish his food while I took the other puppy out potty.  When I came back B had snatched the one down hanging flower off of my new arrangement and chewed it up instead of eating his food.  I over reacted with anger, exchanged. I growled something as insane as, “You stupid dog.”  I calmed down and just submitted him in front of the flower.  I was amazed that I valued something like a silk flower that much to feel attacked when it was damaged.  I reacted similarly when the puppies chewed the plastic ends off the cords of my new blinds.  I was seeing the world outside me and was not, at first, willing to take responsibility for what I was creating.  You see, I have spent a lifetime calling myself “stupid”.  I was coming from a place of lack, I’m not enough, there isn’t enough.  God made me, and you, whole perfect and complete in Him, so belittling myself leads to belittling others, even my puppies. I was exchanging Self-love with self-hate and was afraid of myself.  I did not realize this at the time.

“If you will recognize that all the attack you perceive is in your own mind and nowhere else, you will at last have placed its source, and where it begins it must end.  For in this same place also lies salvation.  The altar of God where Christ abideth is there.  You have defiled the altar, but not the world .  Yet Christ has placed the Atonement on the altar for you.  Bring your perceptions of the world to this altar, for it is the altar to truth.  There you will see your vision changed, and there you will learn to see truly.  From this place, where God and HIs Son dwell in peace and where you are welcome, you will look out in peace and behold the world truly.  Yet to find the place, you must relinquish your investment in the world as you project it, allowing the Holy Spirit to extend the real world to you from the altar of God.”  A Course In Miracles

I choose to relinquish my investment in the world, of silk flowers and blinds, etc, by allowing the Holy Spirit to extend the real world to me from the altar of God.  I choose to love (value) myself the way God loves (values) me and then I will love (value) others as well.

What are you investing in today?  Are you happy?

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