How can I be angry at nothing? “I am upset because I see what is not there.” A Course In Miracles
For as long as I can remember, one of my biggest issues (better known as judgements based on persceptions) has been that I hate interruptions in my schedule. Whether the puppies make an untimely mess in their kennel or I lose something important down in a crevice inside the car, or misplace something important to me, need a nap, you name it, if it wasn’t in the plans, then I could be triggered and respond angrily. I might throw something down, scream, yell, stomp, grit my teeth, lecture, or clam up. I really hate it when I don’t get done what I want to. I notice how easily I can sabotage my results. At least, if I don’t want to see myself as a victim, (and I don’t), then I must be willing to take 100% responsibility for my life. All of the things that are coming up to sabotage my day are my creation.
The truth is, that I will get done exactly what I want to get done. Period!! No exceptions. These are all the illusions I created because I choose to be stuck in the past. You may wonder why I would purposefully sabotage my results. The truth is, it’s subconscious at first. Becoming aware is an important step, but I am still struggling to release my fear of change. A part of me still loves all the drama and if I let go of the past, then I will have peace instead of drama and that can be uncomfortable. This is what “getting of my comfort zone” is all about. I have been a Drama Queen who specializes in making “something out of nothing”. It’s “nothing” because it only exists from my perspective. It’s nothing because it only has the meaning I give it.
I have become aware of my anger at God. I thought I was always the good girl who exhibited so much faith and trust in God. Nada! Nope, the truth is, I have excluded God most of my life, because I didn’t trust him to care for me. I had a lot of experiences as a child that told me I couldn’t trust my parents to be there for me, so how could I trust God. These too, were my illusions though, based on perspective. I am learning from my coach and mentor, Erika Awakening, that when I embrace anger, you can read my last article here, , I can then turn it into gold. Anger is a powerful force that has a purpose when used appropriately.
Because I had more anger come up today, I went and tapped on “Anger Turned to Gold”, a bonus video in .because I understand how important it is to be really honest with myself about my anger in order to turn in into gold. It’s a significant part of becoming a magnet for abundance in every area of my life.
Are you afraid to look at all the “nothing” you are angry at? Nothing will ever change until you do.