Chronicles of Elaine Enlightening

Archive for the ‘Parents & Children’ Category

Don’t Mess With My Plans

i used to be, and still am to an extent, an obsessive planner, so it’s true that I wasn’t happy about anything that messed with “my plans”. Even though, I may have alluded to this in previous articles, today I am addressing this issue from the standpoint of how it has affected my daughter.  I have three daughters, but this issue, came up in a tapping session with this one particular daughter. 

When my girls were growing up, we lived on a farm.  Now, my husbands family had a completely different way of operating and making schedules was not a part of it.  Basically, they worked from sun up to sun down, stopping only for church, bad weather, funerals and weddings.  Because the weather affected everything they did, I say, (they because my husband ran the farm with his mom and dad) had a better idea of going with the flow, than I did.

I chose to homeschool my children and so I made a schedule to ensure the outdoor and indoor chores got done, as well as their studies.  I cooked and baked our meals from scratch everyday.  So, I had plenty to manage. Planning and organizing is one of my strong suits.

I hated phone interruption, this was back before answering machines, and we were last to get on board with all technology as it didn’t fit into my “old fashioned mindset” back then.  I hated someone dropping by unannounced.  I hated it when the cows got out and we needed to go and help.  I hated being late to anything.  (This was not an issue for my husbands family, it seemed to me that they “planned” to be late because they were so consistent about it.)

Okay, you get the picture.  The topic my daughter brought for tapping, which was creating a conflict for her, ended up tying directly into my obsessive scheduling.  (She would need to share her part of the story here, I am not at liberty to divulge personal info.)  She recalled me getting angry about people not respecting my time. when they expecting me to drop everything for them.  

This turned out to be a wonderful way that we were able to confront these fears head on.  Here are the things I had learned and shared with her, while tapping.  

The fact is, if I had exemplified speaking my truth, to my daughter, in this situation, then she would have learned how to be empowered and honest.   by loving and openly expressing, to someone who I felt was not respecting my time, that I was busy and that it was necessary for them to leave, was an option I never considered.  I learned to put on the nice girl church face and act sweet, when deep down I was churning with anger.  Now, my children were not deceived as they had to listen to me grumble and complain.

When interruptions did happen, that required my attention, if I had exemplified a peaceful acceptance of the flow of life and the higher purpose of God’s plan, then my children would have learned another valuable lesson.  For one, how to live in the moment and the peace that comes from surrendering control of everything to God.

Just like now, I am always teaching in everything I think, say and do.  As a homeschool mom, I missed the opportunity to teach what is truly valuable.  Instead, I taught what I understood at the time.  By placing value on time and schedules and how they turned out was really limiting.   It’s very egocentric to put so much emphasis on “doing” instead of “being”. Schedules are fine and have a purpose to the extent that they help me spend my time efficiently.   I made time my “god”, when all that matters in NOW.  I had no clue how to be in the moment, because my mind was always in the past or future, insanely planning everything and forgetting about who I was “being” in each moment.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to begin the healing process, for my daughter and I, by seeing the mistakes of the past as opportunities to clear obstacles.